Bemused

“So where do we go from here?”
“… I don’t know.”

I sat with my legs crossed on the corner of the bed, leaning onto the bed frame. The room seems unfamiliar; perhaps this is your room in a new city, or a room that we share. I look out the large glass window, staring at the pedestrians on the sidewalk and the crawling night traffic. Feeling my head getting heavier by the minute, I lay on the bed and rest my head on the pillow. You coaxed me to talk, but all I could do was to turn away from you and remain motionless. I hear you let out a sigh, one that you particularly do whenever I get you worried or whenever I make things difficult. 

“Lay down with me, just for a while now.” 

For the longest time that I can remember, we lay beside each other with silence as the only barrier in between us. You reached out to grab my left hand and clasped tight. As I remained numb, I soaked in each passing minute of the moment, knowing that it is possibly the last time that I feel you pressed up close against me.

I woke up dazed, my mind tangled between the last bits of the dream and reality. I hate the feeling that I get when I wake up from a dream that leaves me wanting for more answers. They say that your dreams reflect your subconscious thoughts, and this subconscious thought has been reflected for a tantamount time in my dreams for quite a while.

I will settle with this answer for now.

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