24.

 

With every passing year, birthdays no longer appeal to me like how they used to.

 

I used to look forward to balloons, cakes, presents, and dinner parties with a large group of friends. I used to expect my Facebook wall to be flooded with birthday wishes that takes days to say my thank yous to. Phone calls, Skype calls, personal messages would keep me occupied from when the clock strikes midnight up till the wee hours of the morning.

 

Perhaps it is finally coming to realise that there is no need for the fancy birthday celebration. Perhaps it is part of growing up (and older… sigh).

 

Turning another year older this year, it has come to a point that I reevaluate the people who I surround myself with in the last three years and it boils down to this:

 

Nobody is too busy; that is just an excuse and it really is a matter of priorities.

 

To be honest, I acknowledge and accept the fact that people grow apart and outgrow each other. It took a while, but I get it now. Two people who used to be able talk about everything and anything but could no longer do the same. Two people who used to be able to spend time together – even in silence – but the silence is now too much to take.¬†There may not be a conflict or squabble; it just… happened.

 

To those that took the effort to send birthday text messages, video and messages on my social media pages, and even Instagram posts – thank you, I truly appreciate them and they made me really happy. ūüôā

 

To those who went the extra mile by making time to accompany me and even buying me a meal – you earned a special spot in my heart. Thank you for reminding me to appreciate the kindness that is given, the quality of people that I should surround myself with. ‚̧

 

I'd say that it is a birthday weekend well spent with people that I love, delicious meals, and 14 slices of cake.

 

(Seriously, that's more cake than I could ever imagine myself eating. Gosh.)

 
 

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The night before my birthday is somewhat akin to New Year’s Eve. It is a night I spend recapping the year and thinking about what I want for myself in the coming year.

 

Turning 24, my goals for this year does not differ much from last year.

 

This year is another year on the journey of self-discovery, mainly from the fitness aspect. I have signed up for three half marathons and one 10KM run so far, so that keeps me grounded to do my weekly runs. Hopefully it gives me enough motivation to get back to train for the Spartan races and to try a CrossFit gym.

 

I am still on my journey to being a happier person with a lighter heart. I am still learning to embrace my failures and to look at them as lessons to success. I’d say that I have been very much open and accepting that my bad days are not all that bad; there is so much of good that I get out of them. Arguably, I am happier than I have ever been in the last three years and I tell you the feeling is so wonderful. It is like the indescribable fulfillment that I have from serving in the MYCorps mission, except that the fulfillment is for myself.

 ¬†
 
 

Here’s to 24.
(That glass of Balvenie 14 Year Caribbean Cask though – good stuff!)

 

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Stay afloat, don’t drown.

 

It has been a busy start to the first month of 2017.
I have been trying to sort out my priorities,
mainly job hunting.
For the past 5 weeks, the uncertainties don’t get any lesser.
Every application I make is a test of luck.
Every step I take is a leap of faith.

 

The peer pressure is setting in.
I tend to be lost in conversations with friends
because when everyone talks about their career,
it hits me:
I have no colleagues to praise / rant about.
I have no work stress to complain about.
I have no job to talk about.
It is difficult and frustrating
when I feel like I have so much to offer,
yet to only come back struggling with reality.

 

I’d say that it is just a phase,
and I hope that I am right.